What About Your Friends

It was either that title or "Friends, How many of us have them?" Classic cuts about the people that bind us to the rest of the world. I love those songs. Really, where would we be without our friends? Brainwashed by our parents I guess.
I love connecting to people; learning their deepest thoughts & motivations. The sane & crazy parts of them. Those I deem my close friends are my close friends because I feel like we have cultivated a strong connection.

I must acknowledge that we all have different identities with each of our friends; much in the same way we have different friends for different reasons. In a way the distance heightens these differences. Some friends are great for just cuttin up; others are perfect for deep philosophical nonsense. There are friends that I can tell everything (well.. Almost everything. As much of the truth as I can bear!) about my sex life to; to others, it's never mentioned. Yet, I consider each and every one of them close personal friends.

Over the last few months I've had the chance to spend time with these friends I hadn't really had quality time with since graduation. Phone calls, email & facebook - it's just not the same. And I absolutely loved seeing my friends. It can be hard when the closest person who knows anything about LATEX, Club Gate & the stoop are 12 hours away.

BUT, Maybe before I was lying to myself. Or now I am being more honest with myself. There were times on all my trips I wondered, "Why am I friends with this person?" And what's crazy - I am literally discovering this as I type - that there was a common theme that made me ask that question. It was the emergence of selfishness. For some reason I am friends with folk that like to talk about themselves. I don't mind that (most of the time). What bothers me is that they don't ask, "And you?" I'm a person who asks thought-provoking (okay maybe a bit meddling) questions. Above all, you cannot say I do not act interested in getting to know the person in the skin. Some of my friends used to practice this as well; it just seems that maybe they forgot how to over the past year. Either that, or my pessimistic self tells me that they just don't care. But how could you not care? Aren't we friends in the most literal and defining sense of the word?

Friendships, like all relationships, are about a connection - the good times, the warm fuzzies. I went on all these trips in part to prolong and strengthen relationships. I was in dire need of warm fuzzies; like a Sim low on social points. It sucks when you don't know when you'll get warm fuzzies again.