Random Saturday Blog

I wish I could blog more often... I wish I could take all of my random thoughts and make this blog worthwhile... I wish I could just sit and write something brilliant..and I really wish I had the guts to blog at work! But I slack enough...

I love that some of us love our alma maters. That they think their alma maters are God' s gift to the world. But I wish that people would also just realize these places are not the best for everyone, and ... dare I say it, not the best, period! I guess I just don't fully comprehend the "pride" thing, cuz clearly that's not a quality of mine.

I wish I could skip forward; no, go back and start over. I wish things were accessible; grasp-able (okay I think I made up that word); within reach.

I wish the day, the day you went away, never would've happened my baby (Robyn, I Wish accapella, download it)

So last night I hung out with a boy - a young boy - and his friends.. I could just say all of them were white, but one friend was Persian, one was white, and my friend.. c'mon ya'll know me, he was black. We went out to Lower Greenville.. I guess cause that's what white folks do... he bought drinks (cool), and he was touchy-feely (not cool), even after I told him I am NOT a touchy-feely person. Is this part of your game? Touch me and I'm yours? At the end of the night, his friends (just in town for the weekend) were off on an adventure to fuck some fat girls. I guess that's how white folks get down...
(I kind of hated the way they called them fat. Like the problem was that they were overweight. The problem was that they were ugly.. okay I won't be mean.. not cute. But c'mon, lets be clear about the problem here).

My friend in Atlanta.. what to do, what to do. Like, it has potential. But because it's been this long-distance thing, and we've only serious logged about.. hmm... 9 hours total of actually face-to-face time (7 of those within party settings), the whole thing has just never progressed. I love him as a friend, but dream of him as something more, but not that encompassing dream-crush type thing.. just a fleeing thought some days, something on the backburner. I guess that's the way like goes post-college. Or maybe I've actually learned from the past... stop dreaming.

I think I quite dreaming in high school. Dys-is-fucked-up-functional families will do that to you. Reality comes crashing in. Your parents are not exactly who you thought. It's like as you grow up and your mind develops and you learn new words, you are able to better perceive the qualities of your parents.

Life is not so, so bad. But I need it to come up. I need to come up. I don't like learning one little thing at a time, but life is working out that way.