ADMITTING A CONFESSION...

These are my confessions… Dang I love that song! And I luv me some USHER! But I'm not just here to confess my undying love and adulation of the Michael Jackson of my era, the R&B crooner who rocks my world….

I went to church yesterday. This is the third time since I've been with Texas. And I have to admit, I was dreading it.

I haven't been to an Easter service since 2002; haven't been to church since 2003. Its really crazy to admit that.

For some, church was a fun place to go to while growing up. Perhaps you made friends there, or the Sunday School teacher was cool. But for my family, church wasn't really a constant. We had on and off years, gradually fading to just off. And worse, I wasn't really friends with any kids my age: I just knew some of the children of my mom's friends.

Although my college was heavy on the faith and religion, I still never felt the urge or need to get my spiritual growth on through the church. I thought that maybe - as the BAP Handbook accords - that I would find the urge once I graduated.

It hasn't happened yet.

And so Saturday, when my aunt asked if I would be attending church with them (I knew the question was coming) I responded "um.. Yeah, sure, I guess." She went on to say "You have to, it's a family tradition." I wanted to say "My family gave up traditions back in '96."

But I went. Of course they go to one of the bigger, almost mega-churches in the city. A part of me loathe the types. The preachy-preachers, the 5 gazillion songs that are sung. I like my services short, simple and sweet. No Fluff Needed. So we take the 45-min drive (cuz everything in Dallas is far) to the church. We have to park down the friggin street and shuttle to the church. All types of people have shown up: little girls in princess dresses, random faux-thugs in jeans, even a sprinkle of the Other Persuasion.

We're black, so of course we are late. We enter midway through the production. Yes, PRODUCTION. They are putting on a play about the Resurrection, with song, interpretive dance and everything. They even made a crucifix that stood up right where the actor protraying Christ could hang off of it. It was mad impressive. I have to admit, I had to laugh at the extreme production at first, but they really did a good job. I was pissed when people started standing when Christ rose 'cause I couldn't see a darn thing.

And wouldn't you know it? Once we got past the production, the meat (otherwise known as the sermon) wasn't even that long. Growing up, Easter service was always the Longest Service. I listened a little, but I wasn't really vibin with the message; something about the pastor - his voice, his topics, just doesn't grab me.

All in all, I enjoyed my Easter. But I just don't think I'm ready to get religious with my spirituality. Which I know for the Black community, I might as well admit I'm Mormon or Atheist or something. Or say I'm dating my stylist. Whatever