Simple Things Everyone Should Know About Shopping In A Mall
1. Pay attention to what's going on around you. Is someone trying to walk faster to get passed you? Are you about to hit a little kid with your thousands of bags? Get the fuck outta the way!
2. Point #1 would entail you to not walk too slowly. There are millions of people in the mall, trying to get to different stores. It is not time to diddle daddle and mosey on along the yellow brick road.
3. Never ever just stop in the middle of the hallway. Niggas could get hurt.
4. Don't come into a store just to talk. The employees don't really give a fuck if you are lonely and come to the mall for conversation. It's retail, they are only in it for the dollas.
5. Never walk into the store and act all amazed, exclaiming "wow" and shit. The employees don't really care how impressed you are with their product. Keep it to yourself, and keep ya jaw shut cuz your mouth is open.
6. Do not ask simple minded questions to the employees. Comments such as "Wow how do you work here?" "Omiiigosh I could never work here!" "Do you get tired of the product?" are heard at least 5 times a day and are old. Keep to the mission at hand: purchasing.
7. Escalators. They seem to be tricky for some people. Do not slow down or stop as soon as you are about to get on or off. Niggas could get hurt; furthermore, people really don't want to run into you. So why are you stopping? There are tons of people behind you who know how to use it properly. Consider the elevator.
8. It's okay to use strollers on the escalator if you know what you are doing. However, if you are slowing down the escalator traffic we must assume you don't know what you are doing, and are in violation of point #7. I have seen a muthafucka's stroller tip, causing the baby to fall while riding down the escalator..be smart people!
9. If your child is under the age of 15, s/he does not need to be in the mall alone. You think your kids are well-behaved, fine. Once they congregate into groups of 3 or more they turn stupid and incapable of making decisions. Additionally, they don't have any money, so why are they at the mall? Maybe they have $5.. then urge those over 16 to stick to stores they can actually utilize their $5. There is definitely a problem when a group of 8,9, and 10 year olds are hanging out at the mall by themselves. They are way too young to be alone and will get snatched one of these days.
10. There is no dress code for the mall, but take into consideration shopping is part excercise. Wear fitting clothing and shoes for a lot walking. Nothing too short or excessively tight. Heels over 3 inches probably aren't going to do you much good. Although the mall does have a social aspect to it, this should not be your only reason for perusing the mall and thus you should under no circumstances be dressed for the club, homecoming formals, or prom. But do make sure to wash your face, comb your hair, and brush your teeth.
11. Some people like to go the mall in groups of four or more. That is fine, but there is no reason for these groups to be walking shoulder to shoulder down the hallway. There is no way your conversation can carry from one end to the other. Furthermore, it is inconsiderate to those trying to navigate around you. Be aware of the shoppers trying to get around you, and walkers who seem to be walking into you in the opposite direction. Try something simple: move the fuck out of the way! You are in violation, you need to do the yeilding. One of these days yall simple asses are gonna get popped.
12. Realize that the mall is dirty. Your children should not be putting their mouths on any glass window or structure.
13. Be courteous to sales associates. If they say hello, say hello back. If you do not answer the first time and they say hello again, that's a clue that you were rude and need to speak. It's a simple gesture of ettiquette, and they may/may not pester you into buying something. Furthermore, it's their job: suck it up bitch.
14. Do not ask questions rhetorically/out loud about prices or other specifics of products. The sales associates are there for a reason, and they know more about the product than you. Never assume you know more; you are likely wrong. This may be news to some of you folk, but the customer is not always right.
15. Don't keep your money in your bra. That is nasty and unsanitary, and no one wants boob cooties.
16. If you cough or sneeze, be aware you a spreading germs. Try not to utilize the hand you coughed into to hand over money.
Worried you are using wrong mall etiquette? Feel free to ask and I will let you know...
2. Point #1 would entail you to not walk too slowly. There are millions of people in the mall, trying to get to different stores. It is not time to diddle daddle and mosey on along the yellow brick road.
3. Never ever just stop in the middle of the hallway. Niggas could get hurt.
4. Don't come into a store just to talk. The employees don't really give a fuck if you are lonely and come to the mall for conversation. It's retail, they are only in it for the dollas.
5. Never walk into the store and act all amazed, exclaiming "wow" and shit. The employees don't really care how impressed you are with their product. Keep it to yourself, and keep ya jaw shut cuz your mouth is open.
6. Do not ask simple minded questions to the employees. Comments such as "Wow how do you work here?" "Omiiigosh I could never work here!" "Do you get tired of the product?" are heard at least 5 times a day and are old. Keep to the mission at hand: purchasing.
7. Escalators. They seem to be tricky for some people. Do not slow down or stop as soon as you are about to get on or off. Niggas could get hurt; furthermore, people really don't want to run into you. So why are you stopping? There are tons of people behind you who know how to use it properly. Consider the elevator.
8. It's okay to use strollers on the escalator if you know what you are doing. However, if you are slowing down the escalator traffic we must assume you don't know what you are doing, and are in violation of point #7. I have seen a muthafucka's stroller tip, causing the baby to fall while riding down the escalator..be smart people!
9. If your child is under the age of 15, s/he does not need to be in the mall alone. You think your kids are well-behaved, fine. Once they congregate into groups of 3 or more they turn stupid and incapable of making decisions. Additionally, they don't have any money, so why are they at the mall? Maybe they have $5.. then urge those over 16 to stick to stores they can actually utilize their $5. There is definitely a problem when a group of 8,9, and 10 year olds are hanging out at the mall by themselves. They are way too young to be alone and will get snatched one of these days.
10. There is no dress code for the mall, but take into consideration shopping is part excercise. Wear fitting clothing and shoes for a lot walking. Nothing too short or excessively tight. Heels over 3 inches probably aren't going to do you much good. Although the mall does have a social aspect to it, this should not be your only reason for perusing the mall and thus you should under no circumstances be dressed for the club, homecoming formals, or prom. But do make sure to wash your face, comb your hair, and brush your teeth.
11. Some people like to go the mall in groups of four or more. That is fine, but there is no reason for these groups to be walking shoulder to shoulder down the hallway. There is no way your conversation can carry from one end to the other. Furthermore, it is inconsiderate to those trying to navigate around you. Be aware of the shoppers trying to get around you, and walkers who seem to be walking into you in the opposite direction. Try something simple: move the fuck out of the way! You are in violation, you need to do the yeilding. One of these days yall simple asses are gonna get popped.
12. Realize that the mall is dirty. Your children should not be putting their mouths on any glass window or structure.
13. Be courteous to sales associates. If they say hello, say hello back. If you do not answer the first time and they say hello again, that's a clue that you were rude and need to speak. It's a simple gesture of ettiquette, and they may/may not pester you into buying something. Furthermore, it's their job: suck it up bitch.
14. Do not ask questions rhetorically/out loud about prices or other specifics of products. The sales associates are there for a reason, and they know more about the product than you. Never assume you know more; you are likely wrong. This may be news to some of you folk, but the customer is not always right.
15. Don't keep your money in your bra. That is nasty and unsanitary, and no one wants boob cooties.
16. If you cough or sneeze, be aware you a spreading germs. Try not to utilize the hand you coughed into to hand over money.
Worried you are using wrong mall etiquette? Feel free to ask and I will let you know...
posted by T @ 12:40 PM
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