Disturbance of Ignorance

Yesterday I observed something that shook me to its core.

Place: Stonebriar Mall, an upcoming & coming popular mall outside of Dallas, Texas
Date: Saturday, September 10th--the busiest day of the week for the mall
Time: Approximately 3:40 PM

What: A high school boy walking around with his parents and friends. His companions were holding cameras. Everyone was smiling.

The catch is that the boy had smeared Black makeup all of his face, neck and hands (he wore a long sleeved shirt). Dark sunglasses covered his eyes, and he wore a black afro on his head.

This group was able to aimlessley walk about the mall with little hesitation and disturbance.

A WHITE BOY IN BLACK FACE AT THE MALL. MODERN DAY MINSTREL.

Why: It was a game.

That is what the group told me when I approached them. More so, I voiced my disgust with their blatant ignorance.

Quote of the day: "We are not offended by Michael Jackson!"

Yes, this was used in defense of the boy, by the boy's mother.


I think Lawrence Fishburn said it best: WAKE UP!!!!!!!!

Favorite Lyrics I

Song: Singing My Song
Artist: Christina Aguilera
Album: Stripped

Oohhh, Yeah, Oooh Huh
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
& Nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothings been going my way lately
So I decided right here and now that my outlooks gotta change

That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
For everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they won't let me live life
& Take the time to look at what is mine

I see every lesson completely
I thank God for what I got from above

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace

They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
Keep on singing my song

I never wanna dwell on my pain again
There's no use in reliving how I hurt back then
Remembering all of the hell I felt when I was running out of faith
Every step I vowed to take was towards a better day

Cos I'm about to
Say goodbye to every single lie
& All the fears I've held too long inside
Everytime I felt I could try
All the negativity I had inside
For too long I've been struggling. I couldn't go on
But now I've found I'm feeling strong and moving on

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
I'm gonna keep on singing my song

Whoa, & everytime I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally
So I ended up in misery, wasn't able to see
All the good around me
They wasted so much energy on what they thought of me
Simply just remembering to breathe

I'm human, I ain't able to please
Everyone at the same time, so now I find
My peace of mind living one day at a time

I'm human and I answer to one god
It comes down to one love
Until I get to heaven above
I've made the decision Never to give up
Til the I day I die no matter what

I'm gonna carry on & keep on singing my song.....

(They can't take anything from me)
I believe that they can do what they wanna. Say what they wanna say
(They can say what they wanna)
But I'm gonna keep on (Keep on )I believe it

That they can take from me
But they can't take my inner peace
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Say what you wanan say, but I'm gonna sing my song
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Although I have never been in this direct situation, the song is inspirational as hell and Christina sings her heart out!

If I Saw You Tomorrow...

Could I kiss you right away?
Or would that be too much to soon?

Would you hold my hand?
But did you hold someone else's last night?

Could you look into my eyes and just see me and no one else?
But did you do the same last night?

I think of you in my tomorrows.. do you?

Long Distance Relationships...

Talked to an old high school friend last night. MustardMan, my senior year prome date. He told me "You would be my girlfriend if you weren't so far away." Yet, he talks to a girl who lives 5 hours away.. much more feasible in his eyes I guess.

I have another friend, Sakiru, who swears off LDRs. Many of his relationships have ended because the girl moved away. I think part of it stems from the fact that he is afraid to fly.

I have had some significant relationship with people who lived in other cities. The first one was freshman year. I met a guy before I started school, and we continued being close friends (and running up phone bills) for that first semester. By second semester though, I realized that we were distinctly from different worlds...

Then, last summer, there was the ManBoy. Man I was infatuated with some ManBoy. He lived only an hour and half away, and his family was in Atlanta, so it wasn't like we would never see each other. But when school started things changed. People get busy. Now he lives in my family's hometown, and I live in his mother's town. Definitely ironic. And now he calls, asking when are we going to see each other. Shit, I'm broke, holla back!

I guess the question is, do Long Distance Relationships really work? They definitely involve a WHOLE LOT of trust and communication. It is likely much easier to think "fuck him" when he pisses you off from 600 miles away. There's someone I could see myself taking the plunge with... but it would have to be Long Distance. And it sucks, because in the mean time he dates around. Anytime now he could find that girl he wants to take more serious. That girl could have been me, if I'd just stayed in town...

My Favorite Tennis Star

This week is the U.S. Open. It's on in one of the rooms of the house. I am about to change the stations when all of a sudden it hits me... "Blake".. as in James Blake? Only perhaps the finest man to ever play tennis? Yup, it's him! And I must be his good luck charm, because he started winning (from a comeback) as soon as I started watching. :)

The Analyst

I have a friend that loves some nicknames. I, myself, have gone through many. "Afghanistani" "Sniffler".. and now, "Eco!" Short for Economist.. because I analyze too damn much!

Which is true. I can analyze any personal issue to death. It's a hindrance I think, but at the same time it is what makes me special.

I guess this issue takes importance today because I've spent a whole day analyzing everything about my life's current issues... what to do, how much to spend, how to help hurricane displacements... I really could drive myself crazy.

And, of course of course of course, I analyze about my love life! Well, romantic life. Well, my intereactions with men, as there is no love and very little romance in my life right now. I think about those who came into my life in college.. people I have the chance to get to know better now. At this point in my life, it's very stupid to even worry about men. But yet, there is always a yearning for companionship. It is especially hard because I am living in a city I don't want to be in. I really don't want to get to know anyone.. I want my old friends! My old romantic interests! Some of those stories aren't over yet...

I Was Gonna Name my Child Katrina..

Guess that idea is shot. All day, all I can think about is the horror and devastation. Usually, stuff in the news doesn't really affect me. I mean, I sympathize like any good person. But this one takes the cake. It's over the top. I am in shock... I am hurt. Worse, I am glued to the skewered coverage. The AUC is home to so many folks from the Nawlins. I always wanted to go to Mardi Gras, The Essence Music Festival... Well, that's a wrap. My Friend the BBQ Master said it best.. "The city is GONE.. a city has been destroyed by a natural disaster like that since.. since.. POMPEII!!!" Mutha fuckin POMPEII, people. I studied Latin in school. I know all about them times. POMPEII ain't around any more, man. So today I ran into two young people from Nawlins. They told me their house is gone. Just a mere thought. They were holed up at the Embassy Suites, with just a few days' worth of clothes. No car. The nearest thing was the mall at which I worked (across the street from the hotel). They had stacks of applications in their hands.. looking for a job. I told them I would help. Drive them where they needed to maybe go. Hopefully help them find some food that was not served complimentary. It's a bit of risk.. but they seem harmless. I talked to Nikki tonight. It was so.. normal. She didn't sound devastated. She sounded pretty adjusted actually. It was kind of funny... no, IRONIC. If I had come to Nawlins, visiting, passed her on the street.. I'm sure we would have been from 2 different worlds, paid each other no mind. RANDOM: Who gave Ray J a third chance at an album?? I guess I'm finding a way to help in the little way that I can. I'm motherfriggin broke, living check to check. I need a job. The last thing I need is to stress about these folks, but I can't help but watch in despair. We'll see how it goes.

Y the Hell Not?

I shall write in the Georgia font, since I miss the state so.. Everyone's doing it. I've never been one for peer pressure, but what the hell? I was a late bloomer. Never been one for journals/diaries... they never lasted long, too girly... So we'll see how we do. Katrina, Katrina, Katrina. Girl, you done left a mess. Prayers & help are needed. My thoughts are with all of you...